Desi parents, separate, don't fight in front of kids: psychiatrist

Dr Hussain says parents must discuss positive things around children
Feb 01, 2020
Photo: AFP
Photo: AFP

We are tired of hearing stories of children being negatively affected because of daily arguments between their parents, said psychiatrist Dr Moiz Hussain while appearing on SAMAA TV’s morning show Naya Din.

He stressed that parents should discuss their personal differences when alone, not in front of their kids because it has “devastating psychological impact on kids’ personalities”.

In his rather aggressive take for couples who don’t prioritise their kids’ mental health over their personal differences, Dr Hussain had a simple yet agonising solution: get separated.

“If you can’t help but argue in front of your children, live separately and let your kids develop a good personality,” he said.

He claimed that previous generations were raised in such a way that they developed high endurance, but that’s not seen these days.

When a couple is getting married they should be repeatedly asked to commit only if they think they can maintain it, Dr Hussain said.

He related a child's behaviour to that of a sponge, saying that children absorb whatever they see. “A filter-like thinking emerges in humans when they are 14 or 15 years which lets them distinguish between the right and wrong.”

Before they reach this age, as Dr Hussain put it, children tend to believe that the person they are close to is always right in an argument, regardless of whether that’s true.

 “Both parents often work tirelessly [for their children], but it goes to waste once they fight in front of their kids.”

He did, however, admit that minor arguments are unavoidable when a couple lives together, but they should always discuss positive things around kids.

When asked what the best approach is, Dr Hussain suggested they reach out to elders in the family or even get professional help. Intervention by older people often does the trick because they have ample life experience, he explained.

mental health

parenting

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